Here's a really quick and nasty PHP LOLCODE interpreter. It does the job of a 'hello world' example but it's no where near finished and should not be taken as beautiful code. More over, if you base your entire compiler on this method of implementation, your children will suffer. Feel free to play around with it though.

The following commands are currently recognised and parsed correctly (on a line by line basis.):

• HAI
• VISIBLE <string|var>
• I HAS A <var>
• I IZ SLEEPIN[!!]<seconds>
• <var> IZ <value>
• UP <var>[!!int]
• NERF <var>[!!int]
• BTW [comment]
• KTHXBAI

<?php
function lol($b) {
   $d=explode("\n",$b); $n=count($d); $e="% OH NOES! "; $a=array();
   if($n<1) { print($e."NOT ENUF DATA\n"); exit; }
   if($d[0]!="HAI") { print($e."MISSIN HAI\n"); exit; }

   for($i=1;$i<$n;$i++) { $d[$i]=trim($d[$i]); if(substr($d[$i],0,3)!="BTW") {
      if(substr($d[$i],0,3)=="HAI") { print($e."TOO MANY HAI\n"); break; }
      if(substr($d[$i],0,7)=="KTHXBAI") { print("% KTHXBYE.\n"); break; }
      if(substr($d[$i],0,7)=="VISIBLE") {
         if(!ereg("(\")+",$d[$i])) { print($a[trim(substr($d[$i],8))]."\n"); }
         else { print(trim(substr($d[$i],9,-1))."\n"); }
      }
      if(substr($d[$i],0,12)=="I IZ SLEEPIN") { $d[$i]=ereg_replace("[A-Za-z!]+","",$d[$i]); sleep(trim($d[$i])); }
      if(substr($d[$i],0,7)=="I HAS A") { $a[trim(substr($d[$i],8))]="null"; }
      if(strstr($d[$i],' IZ ')) { $v=explode(" IZ ",$d[$i]); $a[$v[0]]=$v[1]; }
      if(substr($d[$i],0,2)=="UP") { if(strstr($d[$i],'!!')) { $v=explode("!!",substr($d[$i],3)); $a[$v[0]]=$a[$v[0]]+$v[1]; } else { $a[substr($d[$i],3)]++; } }
      if(substr($d[$i],0,2)=="NERF") { if(strstr($d[$i],'!!')) { $v=explode("!!",substr($d[$i],3)); $a[$v[0]]=$a[$v[0]]-$v[1]; } else { $a[substr($d[$i],3)]--; } }
   } }
}
?>

<? $foo = <<<END
HAI
   BTW comments work now, ja?
   VISIBLE "I HAS A FIVE SECONDZ COUNTER!"
   I HAS A cookie
   I IZ SLEEPIN!!1
   cookie IZ 1
   VISIBLE cookie
   I IZ SLEEPIN!!1
   UP cookie!!1
   VISIBLE cookie
   I IZ SLEEPIN!!1
   UP cookie!!1
   VISIBLE cookie
   I IZ SLEEPIN!!1
   UP cookie!!1
   VISIBLE cookie
   I IZ SLEEPIN!!1
   UP cookie!!1
   VISIBLE cookie
KTHXBAI
END;
lol($foo); ?>